Defeated

defeated by a five year oldIn an attempt to show you that despite appearances, life behind the happiness and pretty pictures isn’t always perfect. I live in a normal house with dirty dishes, piles of laundry and glitter all over the bathroom floor. I have a toddler that refuses to eat dinner more nights than not but will happily demolish a bowl of ice cream. I have a 5 year old kid that has the sassy attitude of a 15 year old when she is tired. Let me share with you a story, because we had ‘one of those mornings’ last week.

Defeated by a five year old

It was the second last day of school and my 5 year old lost the plot. I get that the first year of school is hard and that she is tired but she threw a massive tantrum and I tried everything but just couldn’t get through to her, and then I lost the plot. I ended up storming out the back door into the cold morning air to stand on the deck and try to breath. The tears rolled down my face, I was done. This parenting gig can be hard some days. I felt so utterly defeated.

I know that my kids are pretty well behaved on the whole, so maybe it is just that I am spoiled with good behaviour that when the shit hits the fan I don’t know how to handle it. In hindsight it probably wasn’t even a big deal but in the heat of the moment it was epic. In fact, I haven’t been sleeping well, so maybe it was partly my fault. Who knows, these things rarely make sense.

Somehow I pulled everything and everyone together, we got in the car and I don’t know how but we got to school on time. When I got back home, I ran. I was so angry and frustrated and upset that I felt like I could just run forever. That feeling soon dissipated after my feet pounded the path for a while and my physical incapabilities kicked in. Anyway, while I was running a song came on (Katy Perry, Choose your Battles) and the lyrics said:

Don’t know when you’ll blow
So I tiptoe through your triggered mind
You fight me but I’m on your side
Defeated, now retreating

Why you tryna make me your enemy
All you really need is a little peace
I just wanna be your lover
Oh, this is not a competition
So baby why the ammunition
I don’t wanna be the last one standing

Choose your battles, babe
Then you’ll win the war
Stop digging your own grave
When there’s so much to live for
Choose your battles, babe
‘Cause I’m not fighting anymore
I am not fighting anymore

**Except I obviously thought mother not lover

It really hit home and made me think that I need to choose my battles with her, especially as she gets older, more opinionated and more emotional. So I am going to take these 2 weeks of school holidays to back off the blog a bit and reconnect with her. I had posts all scheduled and ready to share but I wont be around enough to connect with you all. So, I will still do my regular #WednesdayWanderlust linky, have my Friday Favourites guests and be on social media, but other than that you will find me living life, taking some time trying to not be defeated by a five year old.

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How do you handle it when shit hits the fan?
Does running give you clarity?
Please, can you tell me this is a phase?

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