Overcoming Overwhelmed

Are you overwhelmed?

Who isn’t really, when there is so much to keep up with. Work, cleaning, socialising, school activities, tweeting, kids classes, keeping fit, cooking, status updates, learning, relaxing (yes this is a task!), paying bills, pinning, maintaining hobbies, photographing your latte, reasearching the next thing you are spending your hard earned cash on – travel, schools, a house, renovations, gifts, thermomixes … oh my!

I think, actually I know that I was overwhelmed and that is why I had to take a break from blogging. I had to clear my head, focus on my family and me so that I could come back and be everything I was supposed to be for you, my readers. I figured I cannot be alone in this and that there would be others out there who are feeling overwhelmed and need a little clear headed advice to get them back on track again.

READ MORE: Find out why I took a blogging break, and how to stop the distractions when you are a SAHM trying to get stuff done.

What causes this feeling of overwhelm?

The Multi Tasking Myth

Apparently women are made to do this, we are good at it and we are told we should be good at it. But really, it’s not so good for you! I’m good at maxing out credit cards, that doesn’t mean I should be doing it. We should try to focus on one task at a time to improve our productivity. If you do this you will find that your ten minute task will actually only take 10 minutes (if not less) instead of 2 hours of ‘multi-tasking’ and you will be much more accurate the first time around if you can give a task all you have. I know it isn’t always possible, and sometimes it is more time efficient to multi-task, but try to cut back on it. If something is really important (like writing this post) see if you can schedule some time into your calendar to exclusively work on that task. Leave your multi-tasking to the less important things like listening to a podcast while you scrub the shower or catch up with friends at one of your homes and cook together. Trying to multi-task all the time is actually a cause of being overwhelmed.

Vicarious Living

We are all guilty of it: watching tv, reading books, blogs and magazines, and then there is the world of social media where Facebook, Instagram and Twitter have revolutionised the way we look for greener grass and there is even a new term that has been coined, FOMO (fear of missing out). We constantly compare ourselves to others. And this is ok, as long as it is a ‘superficial’ or fleeting thing. Don’t over analyse. Don’t get caught up in it. Don’t invest your time (because hey, it’s precious!) in it. Focus on living your own life and achieving your own goals because trying to live vicariously through others and trying to keep up with it all is overwhelming. While you are at it, lower your expectations of yourself and stop trying to be a perfectionist at everything, this will remove a lot of self-imposed stress.

Social Media Addiction

We often feel overwhelmed because there is so much to do each day and so little time to do it all in, yet many people spend a huge amount of time on social media – tweeting, pinning, posting status updates and taking photos of our meals. There is the tell tale flick of someone’s finger as they stare at their phone that signals exactly what they are doing, they are scrolling through social media. You can pick it a mile away. When you stop and think about it, so much time is ‘wasted’ on Social Media. You need to ask yourself, in the end, did you get any value out of it, anything truly meaningful? Often social media can bring to the surface feelings of isolation and the FOMO factor mentioned earlier. It can leave you feeling that you lack any meaning as you compulsively watch how many likes you get on a post and wonder why someone else got so many and you didn’t. If you do get a good response it is a short term good feeling that doesn’t last, like any addiction, this ‘high’ is followed by a low. All of this roller-coasting is a time waste and if you eliminate it from your life you save literal time spent doing the activity as well as the time spent thinking about it, whether consciously or not because you do post ‘it’ to get noticed and while all of the above may seem extreme, we all do it to some extent. The question is, is yours under control or is it having a negative impact on your life?

What can you practically do about it?

So, we all know that crowding our life and putting unrealistic expectations on ourselves is what causes our feeling of overwhelm. But what can we do about it? Like me, if you can take some time out, switch off and reboot yourself. While you are rebooting these tips might help:

Prioritise your tasks for the week, day by day if you can, by focusing on what is essential to your happiness and reaching your goals! Lists – this is why I love them! Figure out what’s important and get rid of the clutter, that is, all the stuff that aren’t part of your goals. Then try to streamline your week, automate what you can, delegate tasks to others when possible (yes - ask for help!!), and try to say no sometimes because over-committing yourself is overwhelming yourself. Is watching a tv show really what you want to be doing? If it is, then great, if not, take a look at your list and pick something productive to do. I usually sit down at the start of the week and spend some time making my ‘to do’ lists and scheduling it into my calendar.

You may have to make sacrifices - you may not get it all – but as long as you are taking steps towards your goals its ok. Make them baby steps. Break bigger tasks into a list of smaller tasks so you get a sense of achievement at each small step you take in getting it done. Not only is it easier to fit into our busy schedules but this in itself is a big motivator.

Surround yourself with supportive people, ditch anyone who isn’t. Make yourself, your number one supporter and learn something. Take some time to increase your competence in an area and you will reap the benefits in the longer term. Learn a new skill that will make a positive change to your life. Seems a bit contradictory to add something to your schedule but you need to ask yourself, will this be beneficial in the long term?

If you come across something that needs doing (like picking up the shoes you keep tripping over in the hallway) and it takes less than 3 minutes to do, just do it now rather than put it off. This will help reduce clutter in your mind, stress, and will give you a sense of achievement. Sometimes it’s the small things.

When you do schedule time to work on something, try to reduce interruptions because it always takes longer to gain focus again. This will make you more time efficient, and it reduces mistakes. I know this is hard when you are a SAHM with kids at your ankles all day like me. So, I’ve written a whole post dedicated to how you can stop the interruptions. Otherwise, remove your common distractors - turn off the phone/tv/emails/whatever, lock the front door and focus on your task.

So, turn everything off, find some quiet time and get it all out of your head and down on paper. You can now objectively look at everything that is overwhelming you, re-prioritise, schedule in your tasks and take action on overcoming overwhelmed.

overcoming overwhelmed is about focusing on your priorities and tackling small tasks

Do you ever feel overwhelmed? Or maybe you have some tips to share that might help us all?